If it has been a little quiet around here lately, it's because I have quite a lot on my mind these days. Sometimes, a lot of times, I have a hard time putting it all together for my own sake. Yesterday marked one year since Michael was born into this world, without life. It is still hard to write that, to say it out loud.
I think about him every day. I still miss him.
I wrote last year about my thoughts on grief, limited as they were at that time. God is infinite and mysterious and I think that some things will always remain mysteries to us. One of those mysteries is how we live with grief. How we move forward from the intense pain of losing someone we love. Because life does go on. Having my husband and Gabe and Nathan to care for certainly taught me that. And now, as we look forward to Samuel's arrival, I have those feelings again. It is truly strange to feel both joy and grief simultaneously.
Last night I picked up a devotional that has been sitting on my dresser, unread for several months, and the quote selected for the day bookmarked was this:
He heals the brokenhearted,
and binds up their wounds.
In the midst of my sorrow I know that I am blessed. I know that I am loved by our Heavenly Father.
Michael, we will love you and remember you all the days of our lives.