January 6, 2011

About those goals...

If you've been paying attention to the goal list on the left-hand side of my blog (and I don't really expect that you have) well then you'd notice that I haven't crossed off too many of the items over there.  I originally talked about the inspiration for this list back in April of last year.  I didn't mention it at the time, and in truth I'm not sure that I realized it at that time, but part of the inspiration for wanting to write-out some very specific goals for 2010 stemmed from some feelings that I'd had the year after Nathan was born.  I think I felt as if for too long I was in survival mode.  I needed something external, something more tangible, to get me back to feeling more like myself again.  As I mentioned in a follow-up post, a lot of my goals were cooking related.  I love cooking.  I love preparing healthy and homecooked meals for my family.  I think after making the same things over and over again for more than a year I really wanted to get back to the joy of cooking again.  And I wanted to learn some recipes and acquire some new skills in the kitchen.  Getting back  in the kitchen and feeling that joy again was a big step towards me feeling more like me.  (Now, I will say that this is not the only way that I identify myself, but it is a big part of how I care for my family). 

While I didn't get to cross-off many of the items on my list, just making the list and starting down that path actually did make a big difference to me last year.  For that I am happy.  In the end, there were three big things that got in the way of me being able to focus on getting more of those goals accomplished (and I do want to be clear that I am not disappointed about this in any way).  They were:  deciding to purchase a house, deciding to homeschool Gabe, and becoming pregnant with our third child.  All of these things took-up a lot of time and energy.  They required a lot of my attention and focus.  And in the case of becoming pregnant, well, the first three months of pregnancy for me, as for many women, are/were very tiring. 

I'm happy for what I did accomplish last year and instead of starting all over again with a whole new set of goals this year I'm simply going to keep working on the ones already on my list.  I've removed a few of them simply because they may be put off indefinitely or at least for longer than one year, for example #29 - start running again.  I don't foresee being ready to run again next year.  Even if my body is ready, I will have to sort out all of the logistics of when, where and how do I run with three little ones.  I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying I have no desire to make things more difficult for myself than they need to be.  Adjusting to life as a family of five will be challenging enough.  In a good way. =)  I've also removed, reading one book per month and making one layout per week.  I'm not going to go into the details of why as I think the reasons are pretty boring.  I'll just say that my mind and creativity don't work that way.  I can't force those two things and generally I am happy with how much I read and create.

One last thing I want to touch on before I leave off, last year I purchased a new cookbook to help me achieve my goal of learning more about Japanese cooking:

I feel like I did learn more and I had a lot of fun in the process.  I also learned that I have a lot more to learn!  But that's okay.  I'm still enjoying the process and I hope to continue learning, with help from my newest cookbook:

thank you sweets!  Tomorrow we're headed to the Japanese market to pick-up a few pantry staples along with some other things so that I can cross more items off my list.  And, I think I'm going to bring my camera along, but I don't know if I'll be brave enough to take any photos.  Although, given how unashamed the Japanese are of using their cameras pretty much anywhere I really shouldn't be embarrassed or timid about it... we'll see.

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